When I first began homeschooling my kids, they were a mess. Those few years of school had broken them – they could not focus anymore. And I did not realize how badly until that morning we began our first day of lessons at home.
My boy could not concentrate. He had totally lost the ability to focus. School had been so stressful that he could only focus for about 30 seconds at a time – tops!
How was I ever going to homeschool him? At this rate he would be 30 before he finished high school!
And so I looked for advice. I found a wonderful homeschooling mom in Maine who gave me perhaps the best advice I have ever received. Ever.
And today I want to share it with you. Even if your children don’t have problems concentrating. you can pass it along to a frustrated mom who could use this tip.
The key to focus is a candle and a paper bag.
Yes, stay with me here – it really absolutely works!
- Start with a birthday candle and a paper bag.
- Place something your child has never seen in the bag. A trinket, or a sticker, or a pretty plastic cup, or a green plastic army man. It doesn’t matter what you put in. Just make sure it is new to your child. Then you staple that bag closed and put your child’s name on it.
- Now set the paper bag and the candle down right in front of your child when it is time to do lessons.
- Tell your child that you are going to light the candle and when it burns down, they get to open the bag and have what is inside.
- BUT, you tell your child, if he looks away or gets lost in thought and stops doing the lesson, or worksheet or whatever you are having him work on, you will BLOW OUT THE CANDLE!
- Tell him not to worry, the moment he starts working again, you will light the candle. No fault, no foul.
Through the whole process you have to be upbeat and encouraging. Only praise him when he concentrates and when you have to blow out that candle don’t say anything more than, “when you pay attention to your work again I will relight the candle.”
When he can easily focus for the birthday candle to burn down, make the candle bigger.
We used those smaller advent candles next, and then tea lights. As his concentration lengthened, I made the prize in the bag a little more meaningful like a used book or a fun eraser or pencil – but still nothing expensive.
After a few months, his concentration and focus was back to pre-‘going to school’ levels.
And then one day my son told me he did not need the candle or bag anymore. He was right, even though he was only 7 at the time.
I assure you, that candle and bag method works!
