Have you ever added up all the hours in your week?
You know, classified them? This is something I try to do every few months so that I don’t get off the track.
Every so often I sit down and think, “What is my focus? What do I care about most?”
As moms, we get so caught up in the little things of the day. Are the towels washed and dried? Do we have enough clean forks for dinner? Did little Johnny get his math done today? What the heck am I going to make for dinner?
After days and days of only seeing what is right in front of you, you can get off course. When no one is steering, it can happen so easily. And you don’t even realize that you are off course. You are happily (more or less) doing dishes and laundry and taking care of the kids. Day in and day out. Then one day you wonder, “Am I actually doing this right? Did I forget something really important?”
This is even worse if you try to earn a little extra for the family. You are blogging, or working as a virtual assistant, or remotely for a company. That is amazing because you are making that extra cash that you really wish you had. Maybe the house needs a new roof, or the car is about to blow a head gasket. Maybe your children really wish they could learn to play the piano and you need the money for lessons. No matter what you need the extra cash for, the extra effort of working from home in addition to everything else may tip you over the edge. It becomes even more important to keep an eye on the horizon.
How much time are you actually spending at each part of your week and does that even match with what you and your husband want?
The only way to tell is to check your focus.
I try to do this every month, but sometimes it just gets away from me (a lot like the dishes).
How do you do it? It is so simple!
Just sit down with a piece of paper and your favorite pen.
One: Lay down all the hours in your day. Mine starts at 6 am and ends at 11 or midnight.
Make a separate line for each hour.
Two: Write down what you would like to be doing during each block of time. If your schedule is not predictable (like mine) and changes from day to day throughout the week, just make one page for each day.
As you can guess, this might turn into a mess. But don’t worry – it will end up much less messy and easy to understand once you go through the process.
OK, now that you created the big mess of everything you do every hour of your week, take a moment and survey the damage.
Wow! You do so much each week! No wonder you are not certain if you are steering the ship the right direction. Only other moms understand how much work it takes to be a mom. I know how hard you work every week. Other people reading this do too. Just know that you are not alone.
Now let’s get on to the next step before a child comes in and needs a snack or a clean fork!
Three: The next thing you do is start to create categories. Mine are kind of general so I will share them, but you can make yours anything you like! I group my hours into Kids, DoodleMom Business, Work (for a company), Me time, and Hub time (don’t forget him).
Under ‘Kids’, I add up all the time I spend reading, hanging out, going on outings and field trips, and teaching them.
Under ‘DoodleMom Business’, I include blogging, marketing and promoting, professional development classes I am taking, time spent writing, and time I use to build my publishing business.
Under ‘Work’ I include my hours spent working for another company.
‘Me’ is time I spend doing the things that ground and center my soul. The way you figure this one out is to decide what really relaxes you. What can you do that really builds your store of centeredness that will get you through those times when the kids are fighting or the husband comes home grumpy from a bad day at work and you really need to be the voice of calm and reason? For me, this includes reading, drawing, crochet, exercising, painting, baking, and playing my cello.
Finally, in my schedule, I try to make time to focus only on my husband. There is so absolutely much going on in our house that I can forget to spend time and reconnect.
I won’t share the exact hours I discovered that I spend. The whole process takes me about an hour, start to finish. But once I am done, I get a really good idea of where I spend most of my week. For me, this needs to be with my kids. That is where I need to be steering my time.
So give it a try the next time you are worried that you might be forgetting something. And give yourself a break, mom. You have the hardest job there is. You have to be calm and kind in the face of all manner of turmoil. Those you love most depend on you each day, so make sure to build in time for yourself.
