Why do good parents spend so much effort teaching their children manners?
Manners are what gets you through stressful situations successfully. Manners kick in when you are at your limit, or beyond, and are ready to lose control. In emotional family situations, which I think can be the most stressful of all, those who have either never learned or have forgotten their manners can destroy relationships in a flailing whirlwind of self-centered activity.
Manners in spite of stress is what makes you an adult. It is what allows people to live and work and exist together even when they don’t agree. From manners flows tolerance and bravery and honor and all that is good and right. Without manners, nothing flows but anger, intolerance, and hate.
I know what I strive for, how I want my children to behave, and who to use as examples for my children to learn from so that they will grow to be honorable and brave adults. That is my responsibility as a parent to my children.
Why do some children learn manners from their parents and others don’t even when their siblings get it? The answer to this question eludes me.
