I have been puzzling over a seeming inconsistency in Christian faith: Why do bad things happen to good people?I have spent hours and hours reading about it, thinking about it, and trying to understand other’s explanations.
And then it hit me last night as I said goodnight to my son for what seemed like the fiftieth time. We tend, I think, to regard God as a simple benefactor. We do not consider that He may feel differently towards us.
I think the key to making sense of the inconsistency may be respect.
I love my son dearly and make all attempts to protect him. But I also respect him and his desires. I want him to grow and learn and become that strong, compassionate, and faithful man I trust he will become.
While it pains me to see him fail, I know there are some lessons that he must learn on his own. There are some consequences I cannot protect him from, even when I issue the consequence myself. I respect him too much to coddle him and keep him as my child, forever dependent on me. Even though I know he will always be dependent on my love, that is a given, I have too much respect for him to leave him child-like for his whole existence.
While I am a bit sad each time he flies on his own, each time a bit further and with greater surety, I rejoice at his growth and respect him more. When he falters I do not rush to help because I respect him. I do not smother or coddle him, but provide a constant spring of love and respect. And when he wishes to do something holding dubious consequence, I do not act with predictable pattern. I often let my respect for his growing soul overrule a logically sound response to his desires. I let him try. Sometimes it works out fine in spite of my misgivings and other times there are consequences.
From his perspective I am inconsistent. He knows deep to the core of his soul that I love him and strive to protect him. But he does not understand why I allow him to sometimes make choices that end in failure. Even if it is something as simple as being given a rare opportunity to choose his bedtime.
He cannot comprehend that I respect him as an equal in many ways, even though he is but a child. He cannot understand, until he has children of his own to care for, raise up, and to respect.
And so perhaps that is how it is between us and God. Why we do not understand. Why we sometimes fail and hurt. Perhaps it is simply a consequence of love and respect and being given an opportunity to make our own choices.
